The video baby monitor is one of those technological advancements that many of us came to rely on that didn’t exactly exist when we were kids. They can be super helpful in the baby stage and as kids learn to sleep in their own beds. But when is your child old enough that you should stop using a baby monitor to watch them sleep at night?

The answer, like so much of parenting, is…it depends. There is no official health recommendation on exactly when you should stop, so most of the sources we found emphasized doing what seems best for your own family’s situation. But here is the general consensus we found:

• Most experts recommended that you stop using a baby monitor when your child is about 4 years old. The reasons fell into two camps:
  
  
  • They are aware of being watched at that point
    
    
  • They have fully adjusted to sleep in their own bed
    
    
• If it is cutting into your sleeping (or sanity), it’s okay to stop using a baby monitor.
  
  
  
• That said, there are plenty of situations where it might make sense to continue. For example, if you…
  
  
  • Have a younger sibling in the same room
    
    
  • Live in a house where it’s hard to hear your child at night
    

Why (Around) Four Is When To Consider Not Using a Baby Monitor Anymore

For starters, that is about when parents naturally stop using a monitor, according Julie Dodge, a product manager for video monitor manufacturer Summer Infant. Dodge told the New York Times that they found parents “tend to stop video monitoring in a bedroom when their child is on average about 3 or 4, up from about 12 months old for audio monitoring.”

The Huffington Post talked to one sleep consultant, Katie DiMonico, who recommends a video monitor “from birth until at least 4 years of age.” In the toddler stage, DiMonico says it’s helping to see “if they are climbing out of their crib or if they are doing a potentially dangerous activity (climbing other furniture, playing with the curtains, etc).”

In the same article, parenting coach Aubrey Hargis said that there can be a point “where video technology can interfere with a child’s own sense of privacy …By the time a child is 4, she may have started modifying her behavior because she does not want to be watched playing in a certain way.”

Another element is when your child starts asking more about privacy, especially while getting dressed. Healthline talked to psychologist and author Dawn Huebner, who said “somewhere between ages 4 and 8, most children begin to develop a sense of modesty about their own bodies.” Huebner was talking about nudity in general, but the concept can apply to when to stop using a video monitor.

If Its Costing You Sleep (Or Sanity) It’s Okay to Stop.

Several sleep experts cautioned that if the monitor ends up costing you sleep and increasing your anxiety, it might not be worth it.

The American Academy of Pediatrics outlines here what to consider when using a video monitor. While most of the tips apply to infants, this one could help parents of toddlers as well:

“Some of you may find that leaving the monitor on at night significantly disturbs whatever limited sleep you stand to get, causing you to be wide awake in response to your slumbering baby’s every twitch or snort.”

And Nicole Johnson, founder of the Baby Sleep Site, told the New York Times that “if monitor is doing more harm than good in their home, it’s best to get rid of it.”

Johnson wrote more on this topic on her own site. While it is more geared towards infants, some of this advice can apply to when to stop using a baby monitor for your toddler as well: “When it comes to sleep training, the moment where baby monitors hinder your progress is that you can hear every sniffle, moan, and fuss…for the average healthy baby, we don’t need to hear every little noise the baby makes. In fact, that may make you get in your own way of having your baby sleep through the night. Fussing and crying a little between sleep cycles is very normal and expected, in fact. Go in too quickly and you may even wake your baby up!”

The flip side of this, Hargis points out to Huffington Post, is how monitors can “offer anxious parents a much-needed sense of security — especially if the child’s bedroom is too far away for the parents to hear a cry during a daytime nap or at night.”